Nobody’s perfect.

While watching a movie tonight, someone in the movie made the statement ‘nobody’s perfect’. To hear some parents speak with their teens though, you might think otherwise. Some parents think that lecturing to their teen about what they are doing wrong or what will happen if they continue down their present path will stop them from doing things. In my experience, if you lecture to your teenager, what they hear is ‘blah blah blah’. They tune out. As a uni student, if I am listening to a lecture that I am not interested in, I also tune out. We all do this at some time. So how do we talk so teenagers will listen. Here are just 3 tips that will help.

1. Don’t lecture – Like you and I they will just tune out if someone is talking about a subject that they consider boring. And let’s face it, telling me what I am doing wrong is not that exciting. A better way is to engage them in a conversation about their dreams, goal and hopes. Then you can lead into a discussion about what they think it takes to achieve those goals.
2. Don’t compare – Your children are not you and they are not their siblings, their cousins or anyone else. They are themselves, unique, beautiful and perfect in their own right. Allow them the space to have their own interests, style and dreams.
3. Don’t live vicariously through them – let them live their life. It may be great for your ego to have a child who is a doctor, lawyer or teacher (all great professions) but if they want to be an artist, musician or writer (also great careers) who are you to say ‘no, that’s not a real job’. I have heard parents argue this point even with grown children.  Would anyone say that Michelangelo didn’t have a ‘real job’?

Let them find their own way. Your children are more important than what others think of you. Their happiness is more important than what you believe they ‘should’ be doing with their lives. Love them, just as they are, and enjoy a more peaceful relationship. Life is too short.

Please feel free to leave us a comment.

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